We've all heard that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. But in twenty years of working with leaders, I've learnt that the real misfortune isn't in breaking mirrors – it's in never daring to look into them at all.
Reflection is rarely easy. For leaders, it means pausing in the relentless flow of daily demands to consider three vital questions:
How are my actions and decisions rippling through the organisation?
What legacy are my words and choices creating?
What patterns are we unconsciously reinforcing in our culture?
It takes care to look without self-criticism and curiosity to see the quiet truths that shape our culture. Holding the mirror up is never about finding fault – it's about creating clarity, for ourselves and for others.
In my experience supporting leaders through transformation, the most powerful changes often start with pivotal moments of insight:
A visionary CEO discovered their passionate ideas in leadership meetings were creating unintended mandates. By prefacing thoughts with "I'm exploring this idea..." or "What if we...", they transformed their executive team from careful implementers into bold co-creators.
A senior leader, courageous enough to seek honest feedback, learnt that their decisive strength under pressure was both inspiring and inadvertently silencing quieter voices. Their willingness to show vulnerability transformed team dynamics overnight.
A leadership team, driving hard toward ambitious goals, recognised they'd been celebrating resilience whilst missing signs of burnout. Together, they redefined what sustainable success looked like.
The art of reflection isn't just personal – it's a powerful catalyst for collective transformation. Over years of practice, I've developed an approach that consistently turns individual insight into shared momentum:
First, I immerse myself in the organisation's daily rhythms. Not as an outsider looking in, but as someone genuinely curious about how things work. I notice the natural flow: how decisions evolve, where energy rises and falls, what stories people share over coffee. These everyday moments, these small but telling interactions, become my foundation.
Then comes the interesting part: weaving these observations into meaningful insights. This isn't about creating a critique – it's about understanding the organisation's story from the inside out, seeing both the challenges and the opportunities that might not be immediately visible to those living them every day.
But where does the real magic happen? I open up a dialogue about these insights. Not as fixed conclusions, but as conversation starters: "Here's what I'm noticing – does this resonate with your experience?" The response is often remarkable. People lean in, eager to add their perspective, refine the picture, share their own stories. They become partners in understanding their world.
What follows never fails to inspire me: those same partners, now seeing their world through fresh eyes, naturally step forward to help shape its future. They move from participants to architects of change, their sleeves already rolled up before the formal work begins. This isn't just buy-in – it's the spark of genuine ownership.
The truth is, leadership today is complex and relentless. There's no perfect formula, no path without missteps. But the mirror helps us stay grounded. It helps us see the ripple effects of our choices, giving us the chance to adjust before small gaps become chasms.
Over decades of holding up mirrors – both for others and myself – I've learnt that timing and approach are everything. Early in my career, I would eagerly share my observations. Now, I've learnt to notice the subtle signs of readiness: the questioning look after a challenging meeting, the quiet moment of doubt in a success story, the tentative request for guidance that signals an openness to deeper reflection. Perhaps more importantly I have learnt to spot, more frequently, when the time isn't right.
This isn't about creating pressure to "do better" – it's about inviting connection, growth and shared understanding. Emotional intelligence plays a key role: the art of listening deeply, tuning into unspoken signals and responding with genuine empathy. And in my experience, leaders who make space for reflection don't just navigate challenges more effectively – they build deeper trust and more resilient cultures along the way.
The mirror of leadership doesn't have to show a perfect reflection – it simply needs to show an honest one. The question isn't whether you're ready to see everything at once. It's whether you're willing to take that first look, today, with curiosity and compassion. Because in leadership, our reflections don't just show who we are – they shape who we're becoming and in turn shape the future we're all creating together.
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